I will start this article by emphasizing how sensitive the topic of ‘virginity’ is. As a matter of concern, in society today it is uncouth to ask someone about their virginity status, however, that’s not the narrative here.
This article is about funny ways you as a person can say you lost your virginity. Maybe you just want to tell your friends about it or you are just trying to joke around.
Now let’s get into business and see the 15 ways one can say they lost their virginity while sounding cool as ever and as funny as possible.
Remember once again that the examples you are about to read are just carefree ways to talk about this hot topic, so have fun while you keep swiping down.
15 Funny Ways to Say You Lost Your Virginity.
Here are fifteen funny ways you can say you lost your virginity;
- I participated in an extreme sport that left me bleeding down there.
- I recently got initiated into full-time adulthood.
- I upgraded from a learner’s permit to a full driver’s license in the other room.
- I failed my virginity test last week and I can never get a pass forever.
- I crossed the rivers that lead to the most talked about world of grown-ups.
- I practiced lovemaking after reading too many Romeo and Juliet.
- Virginity is now like my alma mater because I have officially become a member of the ‘ex-virgin’ gang.
- My virgin boy/girl days are over.
- Now we can have that conversation about orgasm as I am experienced in that field.
- I have graduated from the virgin class.
- I’m now at this point where missing my period is going to be a major concern.
- I lost my innocence on purpose I think.
- People like me are the reason why hymenoplasty is a kind of surgery.
- I’ve had my first biological hammer-nail situation now, so it’s safe to say I have experienced it all.
- I have now eaten the forbidden fruit.
1. I participated in an extreme sport that left me bleeding down there.
A funny way to say you lost your virginity is by telling someone that you participated in an extreme sport which left you in minor pains and few bleeds.
Someone mature enough to hear this will get your point without needing you to say everything in the English language. See this sample text where someone is telling her friend she lost her virginity via a message.
- Hey Bola, something came up last weekend at the beach house party. I participated in an extreme sport with my boyfriend which left me bleeding down. This was long overdue I guess.
2. I recently got initiated into full-time adulthood.
Initiation as we all get to think of involves blood and maybe vows, losing one’s virginity is practically similar so you can funnily say you lost your virginity by saying that you got initiated into adulthood because society makes the act of losing virginity an adult stuff, hence, you will not be beating around the bush.
- I got a romantic initiation into adulthood that required blood, surprisingly I didn’t cry as much as I thought I would.
3. I upgraded from a learner’s permit to a full driver’s license in the other room.
For a guy, this is a very funny thing to use when you want to say you have lost your virginity.
Do you know how people are given learner permits when they begin driving lessons and are later upgraded to receiving a driver’s license after they must have taken and passed their driving test? It is logical in a way to compare losing one’s virginity to this. Make it sound very cool and humorous to achieve your funny goal.
- Guess who has upgraded from a learner permit to a full driver’s license in the room of rooms? Your boy Troy!
4. I failed my virginity test last week and I can never get a pass forever.
Another funny way to say you lost your virginity is by saying you failed woefully at a virginity test. This is more direct and easy for the person you are conversing with to understand, however, you can make it funny by saying you know you will never get to pass the test again which is completely true.
- I failed my virginity test last week, and in case you do not get my point I will never pass that examination in my entire life again.
5. I crossed the rivers that lead to the most talked about world of grown-ups.
Compare losing your virginity to crossing a great river or sea that leads to adulthood or the land of grown-ups since it is a thing in society that ideally only grown-ups should have this kind of experience.
- Do you know how people talk about the grown-up world like it is some mystery place and stuff? Well, I crossed the river that leads there and was able to do that in minutes, so I might just start scaring my younger ones since I’m now experienced.
6. I practiced lovemaking after reading too many Romeo and Juliet.
If you love to read romance, then this is your go-to funny way to tell someone you have lost your virginity. Tell him or her that you have practiced the act of making love as a result of the too many love books you have been reading. You can go on to talk about what you think the experience was like – only if you wish.
- Having read too many hopeless romantic and intense love books, I practised lovemaking and I must confess that theory is always far from the actual job execution.
7. Virginity is now like my alma mater because I have officially become a member of the ‘ex-virgin’ gang.
You must be very proud to want to use this line, calling yourself an ex-virgin will come with a lot of confidence because many people are usually ashamed when they lose their virginity, it all depends on what kind of situation you had or if you meant it as a joke.
- I am one of the newest members of the ex-virgin gang, so you can call virginity my alma mater.
8. My virgin boy/girl days are over.
Simply tell someone that your days of being a virgin are over as you have now indulged in sexual activities and have lost your virgin status. See how it is being said in the example below, I guess this makes much sense to an extent.
- My virgin boy days are officially over, I am a man and that comes with responsibilities – you feel me?
9. Now we can have that conversation about orgasm as I am experienced in that field.
If you have a friend who likes to say this kind of stuff, you might want to go raw with them – talking about the lingo you choose to use in communicating. Tell them that you are now fit to have such freaky conversations with them as you have now gained a bit of mastery in that area.
- The shaky legs cloud nine stuff – I mean orgasm? I think I’m ready for that conversation right now based on the fact that I have gotten a bit of experience there.
10. I have graduated from the virgin class.
Make it seem like you have gotten to a whole new level when you want to tell someone you lost your virginity. Telling the person that you have graduated from the virgin class is just one funny way to say it. An example has been dropped here to make understanding this point very easy for you.
- Sally, I have graduated from virgin class but I don’t need recognition or your telling people about it.
11. I’m now at this point where missing my period is going to be a major concern.
People who don’t are sexually active, may not be very concerned when they miss their period. After all, they cannot get a baby in the womb out of the blue.
But for the other set of people, a slight change in cycle, a little sickness, and a gain or loss in weight may be a sign of an incoming baby hence the worry.
That is why this is just a funny way to say you lost your virginity.
- I have entered this stage where I am very concerned about my circle and missing my period will make me very worried unlike yesterday when I’ll thank God for giving me one month free of feminine punishment
12. I lost my innocence on purpose I think.
In contemporary society, losing one’s virginity is sometimes compared to losing one’s innocence. This is because people who are virgins and have never had any sexual relations do not know or do not have the experience that makes them deeply aware of sexual activities.
So you can always use this line when you want to tell someone you have lost your virginity and still sound funny while at it.
- I had to let go of my innocence because I felt I was too old for that right now.
13. People like me are the reason why hymenoplasty is a kind of surgery.
First, let me make you understand the meaning of hymenoplasty. This is a surgery done to repair a torn hymen, and in women, the hymen when untampered is the absolute proof of virginity except in rare congenital cases of imperforate hymen and absence of hymen.
Forgive me for the little anatomy class, now let’s get back to our funny statement. You can tell someone you have lost your virginity by saying you are the reason surgery for the repair of a broken hymen may exist.
- I need you to think about this, hymenoplasty wouldn’t be a thing in surgery if people like myself were nonexistent. So losing my virginity was for a good cause at the end of the day.
14. I’ve had my first biological hammer-nail situation now, so it’s safe to say I have experienced it all.
Not to sound vulgar but losing one’s virginity can be likened to a hammer-nail situation. A hammer nail situation has to do with a hammer hitting a nail on the head.
I will not go into details, but if you’re reading this article and you have a mind matured enough you will understand what you have just read. So, one funny way to say you’ve lost your virginity is by saying you have had your first biological hammer nail situation.
- I’ve had my first biological hammer-nail situation. I know you may not understand the lingo I’m going to use now but I need you to think critically so you will get my point.
15. I have now eaten the forbidden fruit.
There are so many rules around the concept of virginity. Some people think it’s even out of place to mention it while talking. People even go as far as referring to sex as the forbidden fruit only married people can taste.
You can use this phrase as a funny way to tell someone you have lost your virginity. Just say you have eaten the forbidden fruit and you are good to go.
- I hope you don’t start getting judgemental, I just want to let you know that I have now eaten the forbidden fruit.
Parting Words.
While you have learned funny ways to say you lost your virginity from this article, note that you shouldn’t be coerced or forced to talk about it unless you are willing to do so. You must also ensure that you deeply trust whomever you are having this conversation with as matters about your virginity are your business only and ideally should not involve other people except you are sure you do not mind.
Losing your virginity is a personal and important milestone, so make sure to approach it with respect and care. Thanks for the time you spent reading, if you don’t mind, take a little time to share this article with someone whom you feel will find it funny.