Has someone ever asked to borrow your car at the worst possible time? It’s an awkward situation to be in, especially if you don’t want to lend out your vehicle.
While a simple “no” should suffice, sometimes you need a more lighthearted or creative way to decline the request. In this article, I will provide a few funny, polite ways to say no when asked to lend your car.
20 Funny Ways to Say No When Someone Asks to Borrow Your Car
- My car? I don’t have a car. What’s a car?
- I would, but I just got it back from the mechanic and he said no one else should drive it for a while.
- I wish I could, but I’m saving my car for a special occasion…like maybe when I win the lottery.
- My car barely made it here, I don’t think it could handle another trip today.
- Sorry, I can’t. I promised my car a staycation this weekend. She needs a break!
- I would love to, but I’m saving my car for a big hot date tonight!
- I just got her details! There’s no way I’m letting anyone else get in and mess her up.
- I don’t think you could handle the raw power of this machine. She’s a real beast!
- My car barely fits me, I don’t think we could get another person in there.
- I can’t risk you putting extra miles on her, I’m almost up to an oil change.
- I would love to, but my car has anxiety around new drivers.
- I wish I could, but no one except Batman is allowed to drive the Batmobile.
- Honestly, I don’t own the car and the driver won’t let me lend it out.
- My car barely lets me drive it, so I doubt it would be ok with a stranger behind the wheel.
- If this was a Ferrari for sure, but not this one, not with the way you drive.
- Bad timing bro. My car has a hot date tonight so it can’t work.
- Are you crazy? I still owe $15,000 on this thing, no one else is driving it!
- I’m saving it for the zombie apocalypse so I can make a quick getaway if needed.
- My grandma lent it out once and it came back with a huge dent. She said never again! Gotta respect grandma’s rules.
- I just got it aligned, if someone else drives it, it’ll be out of whack. I’ll need another $75 alignment!
1. My car? I don’t have a car. What’s a car?
Pretend to be confused. You can miss them a little by pretending not to have a car. It will work even better if the car is not in the driveway.
You can’t lend what they can’t see or what you don’t have. It might not be the best way but it has to be the most hilarious. Here’s a sentence example:
- My car? I don’t have a car. What’s a car? I know what a bicycle is but not a car. Can you explain it?
2. I would, but I just got it back from the mechanic and he said no one else should drive it for a while.
Tell them you want to give your car a rest. Unlike a human recovering from an illness, cars don’t need that rest but it’s your car and you will do what you feel is best for it so it lasts longer.
Whether they accept it or not, it remains your car and you want the best for everyone. You will be happier in the end. Here’s a sentence example:
- I would, but I just got it back from the mechanic and he said no one else should drive it for a while. This baby is getting old and we gotta handle her with care.
3. I wish I could, but I’m saving my car for a special occasion…like maybe when I win the lottery.
Let them know you don’t want it to be driven. It is normal not to feel up to giving someone something like your car. It’s not just your dress or a pair of shoes.
It’s a full vehicle worth a lot of money. You can make a joke about saving your car for important occasions although not probable ones with slim chances like winning the lottery. Here’s a sentence example:
- I wish I could, but I’m saving my car for a special occasion…like maybe when I win the lottery. Who knows, I might win this time
4. My car barely made it here, I don’t think it could handle another trip today.
Solid reason with all seriousness. After seven to ten years, a car can be more of a piece of junk than a vehicle when in those early years it was badly manhandled.
The car from then is very fragile and not liberally handing it out to every Tom, Dick, and Harry is only wise. Here’s a sentence example:
- My car barely made it here, I don’t think it could handle another trip today. It’s about time it hits the junkyard but I will have nothing else so I have to keep managing till I can afford a new one.
5. Sorry, I can’t. I promised my car a staycation this weekend. She needs a break!
Inform them of the car rest. If you spent Monday to Friday speeding on rough roads, wearing your tires out while the car made near-death noises, you know it needs a good boot to the mechanic and a decent amount of rest.
Explain this to your friends so they see where you are coming from. Here’s a sentence example:
- Sorry, I can’t. I promised my car a staycation this weekend. She needs a break from all the fast and furious runs I did with it the past two weeks.
6. I would love to, but I’m saving my car for a big hot date tonight!
Let them know your car is already engaged. Maybe you lent it out to someone else, or you are taking it out early tomorrow for an interview, or most exciting, saving it for a big hot date, the car can not be lent out.
This is a response you have to use so they don’t see your car sitting in the driveway and think you just don’t want to give them. Here’s a sentence example:
- I would love to, but I’m saving my car for a big hot date tonight! That Cecilia is coming over and I want to impress her.
7. I just got her detailed! There’s no way I’m letting anyone else get in and mess her up.
Explain that you have recently changed things. It’s like a brand-new pair of shoes. You don’t exactly want to lend it out. Maybe later on when the excitement of having a brand new pair of shoes has reduced you can consider lending but not within the first few days.
It applies to cars too. Anyone would understand it and leave you to enjoy your car. Here’s a sentence example:
- I just got her details! There’s no way I’m letting anyone else get in and mess her up. Even if you won’t mess her up, I just want to cruise around a bit before I lend it out.
8. I don’t think you could handle the raw power of this machine. She’s a real beast!
Brag a bit. Without going overboard you can brag a bit about your car. If you have got a good machine and you have someone willing to listen you can tell them how fast it can go and what it can handle.
Here’s a sentence example:
- I don’t think you could handle the raw power of this machine. She’s a real beast and you don’t want to get overwhelmed. Maybe when you have more experience.
9. My car barely fits me, I don’t think we could get another person in there.
Explain the car’s limitations. The owner of the car or the one who drives the car the most knows it best.
You are the one who will know that the car won’t fit a tall person to a person much bigger than you because it is a struggle, even for you. Here’s a sentence example:
- My car barely fits me, I don’t think we could get another person in there. Also, you are a tall guy. Your legs would be squashed. I’m sorry.
10. I can’t risk you putting extra miles on her, I’m almost up to an oil change.
Inform of the state of your car. It would be a terrible thing to willingly give out your car when it is in a bad state and have others struggle with it.
No one will be happy in the end as they might even leave the car in a state beyond repair or just make repairs more expensive. Here’s a sentence example:
- I can’t risk you putting extra miles on her, I’m almost up to an oil change. If you take her out and stop while on a journey, you will be stranded.
11. I would love to, but my car has anxiety around new drivers.
Let them know you are anxious about borrowing the car. It’s not easy to trust someone with something as big and as valuable as a car. New people like in a neighborhood you just moved into are not easy to trust so let them know. Here’s a sentence example:
- I would love to, but my car has anxiety around new drivers. She might give you some trouble and it won’t be nice at all. Maybe next time.
12. I wish I could, but no one except Batman is allowed to drive the Batmobile.
Point out that your car is special. If you have the “no lending my car out” rule, something as silky as the response is befitting. It tells them you are Batman whether they believe it or not. The car is for Batman only. Here’s a sentence example:
- I wish I could, but no one except Batman is allowed to drive the Batmobile. Just kidding. I can’t lend you the car though.
13. Honestly, I don’t own the car and the driver won’t let me lend it out.
Be honest with them. If you pretend it is your car when it isn’t yours, you will have a hard time getting a reason not to give the car, especially when they are desperate. The truth makes things easier so let them know. Here’s a sentence example:
- Honestly, I don’t own the car and the driver won’t let me lend it out. It’s my mum’s and I’m just using it to run errands for her.
14. My car barely lets me drive it, so I doubt it would be ok with a stranger behind the wheel.
Explain the state of your car. You know there is a stage your car will get to that only you will be able to maneuver it. If it is at that point, it is best to warn them so they don’t get into a mess trying to control a car that you don’t own. Here’s a sentence example:
- My car barely lets me drive it, so I doubt it would be ok with a stranger behind the wheel. The steering is not smooth and it can be a real piece of work.
15. If this was a Ferrari for sure, but not this one, not with the way you drive.
Tell them you don’t want their reckless driving. The word goes around about people who do things, either good or bad. A person with a reputation for smashing and denying people’s cars is not fit to drive yours. Here’s a sentence example:
- If this was a Ferrari for sure, but not this one, not with the way you drive. Don’t take it the wrong way but I can’t. Sorry.
16. Bad timing bro. My car has a hot date tonight so it can’t work.
Let them know you can be occupied. Whether your car has a date with a Tesla or is going to the car wash, it is going out. You might have agreed to give it out to someone else. Whichever one, let them know you have put your foot down. Here’s a sentence example:
- Bad timing bro. My car has a hot date tonight so it can’t work. I have to take this baby to the car wash, it’s really dirty.
17. Are you crazy? I still owe $15,000 on this thing, no one else is driving it!
Let them in your car debt. It is not the most interesting or wonderful thing to say. When you even consider the tone, it’s not the most polite thing to say.
You can say this to your friends who will understand. Besides, you can’t go about telling everyone about your $15,000 debt. Here’s a sentence example:
- Are you crazy? I still owe $15,000 on this thing, no one else is driving it! I have been so careful and I don’t want to have any problems with it when I haven’t finished paying for it.
18. I’m saving it for the zombie apocalypse so I can make a quick getaway if needed.
Give a silly response. Unless they believe in zombies, we know it’s a big fat joke and even a tease to those who believe in zombies.
You can use this to let them know you are not borrowing your car before telling them. They might not be too happy to hear it but it is your choice. Here’s a sentence example:
- I’m saving it for the zombie apocalypse so I can make a quick getaway if needed. Don’t worry, I will let you sit in the passenger seat and we can get away together.
19. My grandma lent it out once and it came back with a huge dent. She said never again! Gotta respect grandma’s rules.
Tell them who the real owner is. It’s easy to sum that a person owns the car they drive. After all, they don’t go about with a bumper sticker saying, “This is Grandma Dottie’s car, be careful.”
This response is nice because it gives the real state of things and explains why they can’t have it. Here’s a sentence example:
- My grandma lent it out once and it came back with a huge dent. She said never again! Gotta respect grandma’s rules. She would kill me if I lent it out.
20. I just got it aligned, if someone else drives it, it’ll be out of whack. I’ll need another $75 alignment!
Point out their recklessness. And by someone you mean them. There are people whose recklessness is not limited to their vehicles. It is probably the reason they are coming to borrow yours.
They have been careless with theirs and it will do he is with yours. Here’s a sentence example:
- I just got it aligned, if someone else drives it, it’ll be out of whack. I’ll need another $75 alignment and money doesn’t grow on trees.
Final Words
Whether you drive a clunker or a luxury vehicle, your car is your responsibility and you should never feel obligated to lend it out if you’re not comfortable doing so.
While it can be awkward to turn down a request, a lighthearted or humorous excuse can often smooth over the situation without hurting any feelings.
The next time someone asks to borrow your car, try out one of the creative no’s we’ve shared today. Not only will you avoid lending out your wheels, but you might just give your friends a good laugh too.
At the end of the day, don’t be afraid to just say no if you don’t want to hand over your keys – your car, your choice. Just make sure your refusal is funny but firm!