It depends on the way you look at it. The question ‘How tall are you?’, can be a harmless way to inquire about someone’s height. On the other hand, it can be a curious reaction to someone who is extremely and unusually tall.
Additionally, you can be asked that question for medical, career, and aesthetic purposes. Depending on who is asking and why they are asking, you can decide to answer straightforwardly or funnily.
For the sake of this article, I will be listing out twenty (20) hilarious responses to the question ‘How tall are you?’
20 Funny Responses to ‘How Tall Are You?’
- Well, I make basketball hoops look like child play; how about that?
- To my friends, I’m as tall as a giraffe on stilts.
- Enough to make short people like you jealous, but not so tall that I can touch the clouds.
- I can give the weather report from a bird’s eye view. Is that tall enough for you?
- If I had a long ladder…I could reach the stars.
- Tall as a lamp post, but thankfully, I don’t light up at night.
- I’m as tall as a beanstalk on a growth spurt, but unfortunately, I don’t have any golden eggs at the top.
- I have to duck to avoid hitting my head on door frames.
- I easily make friends with the birds in the treetops, but still not tall enough to be mistaken for a tree.
- Stress, I have to dodge clouds on a sunny day.
- Not to boast but I’m as tall as a beanstalk after it’s had its morning coffee.
- I’m just the right height to reach for my dreams… and occasionally knock over a lamp or two in the process.
- I’m tall enough to have a hearty conversation with a pilot as they fly.
- I’m tall enough to see eye-to-eye with a basketball player… if they’re kneeling.
- I’m as tall as an African Iroko tree, but sadly, I can’t see my ancestors.
- I will need an extra-long bedsheet, but not so tall I need a custom-made door.
- My mum asks to grab things from the top shelf at the grocery store… all the time.
- My grandma is proud of my height, although my pants are becoming too short.
- If skyscrapers were made from spaghetti, then I’d be as tall as one.
- I’m a bit taller than the shortest person on earth, go figure.
1. Well, I make basketball hoops look like child play; how about that?
If you are familiar with the basketball game, you would know that the hoops are put at a very far distance from the ground. That’s what makes the game challenging – having to throw the ball through the hoop from different positions on the court.
Nevertheless, the taller you are the more likely you will be chosen as a basketball player as it will give you an advantage. Hence, if you share the same height with a basketball hoop, then this is the best response for you.
- ‘Well, I make basketball hoops look like a child’s play.’
- ‘That’s cool.’
- ‘How about that?’
2. To my friends, I’m as tall as a giraffe on stilts
You may not know how tall you are, but if you’ve had many witnesses give you a good comparison of what your height is like, you can use it as a response.
It may be something your friends say while joking or playing around, but that does not mean that it is not true.
Besides, if you have friends as crazy as I do, then this should not be new to you.
- ‘I wouldn’t know.’
- ‘Just try.’
- ‘Okay, according to my friends, I’m as tall as a giraffe on stilts.’
3. Enough to make short people like you jealous, but not so tall that I can touch the clouds
Ouch. Yup, ouch is the reaction you may likely receive if you use this response because you’re reminding the person you are speaking with how short they are.
It is wise if you use this response with a friend who is used to being made fun of by you. A stranger, on the other hand, won’t take it lightly.
- ‘Enough to make short people like you jealous,…’
- ‘Ouch.’
- ‘…but not so tall that I can touch the clouds.’
4. I can give the weather report from a bird’s eye view. Is that tall enough for you?
If I know about birds, a person who is so tall that they can detect what the weather is like from a bird’s eye view must be unusually tall.
If you are as average height as I am, then using this response is just an attempt at sarcasm and will make the other person have a good laugh.
- ‘I can give the weather report from a bird’s eye view.’
- ‘That’s cool.’
- ‘Is that tall enough for you?’
5. If I had a long ladder…I could reach the stars
This response will make the other person pause a moment to think about what you just said. It does not necessarily specify how tall you are, cause if you are that tall why would you need a very long ladder or a ladder at all?
Besides, if we all shut our eyes real tight, we could all reach the stars in our imagination.
- ‘If I had a long ladder…’
- ‘What will happen?’
- ‘I could reach the stars.’
6. Tall as a lamp post, but thankfully, I don’t light up at night
If you are as tall as a lamp post, you might as well light up my life. Oops, if this was a confession of love, I may have won my lover’s heart, but it’s not.
If you’re as tall as a lamp post or probably taller than it, then this is the right response to use. If you’re not, then you’re using it strictly because you wish to be sarcastic.
- ‘Tall as a lamp post, but thankfully, I don’t light up at night.’
- ‘That’s hilarious.’
7. I’m as tall as a beanstalk on a growth spurt, but unfortunately, I don’t have any golden eggs at the top
This response may symbolize that you are not done growing but just experiencing a growth spurt. It then begs the question, ‘If on a growth spurt, you’re this tall, what will then become of you when you’re done growing?’
- ‘I’m as tall as a beanstalk on a growth spurt…’
- ‘Quite the fairy tale.’
- ‘…unfortunately, I don’t have any golden eggs at the top.’
8. I have to duck to avoid hitting my head on doorframes
If you are so tall that you have to duck to avoid hitting your head on door frames, then this is the right response for you. However, you must learn to know the difference between the doorframes just being short and you being too tall.
- ‘I have to duck to avoid hitting my head on door frames.’
- ‘Must be tiring.’
9. I easily make friends with the birds in the treetops, but not tall enough to be mistaken for a tree
There are short trees and there are tall trees; you would need to be specific to give them a clearer picture. Otherwise, if you have friends as crazy as I do, they will not hesitate to assume that you mean a dwarf willow.
- ‘I easily make friends with the birds in the treetops.’
- ‘Interesting.’
- ‘But not tall enough to be mistaken for a tree.’
10. Such a stressful, I have to dodge clouds on a sunny day
This is as hilarious as it sounds. It appears as if you’re about to give a serious response, then you end up with something so hilarious.
It will take an intelligent person some seconds to realize that you have just given a sarcastic response. A dull person, on the other hand, will take longer to figure it out.
- ‘Such stress, I have to dodge clouds on a sunny day.’
- ‘Ha ha, good sarcasm.’
11. Not to boast but I’m as tall as a beanstalk after it’s had its morning coffee
I don’t know what it is about beanstalks or why it is commonly used as a metaphor to describe a tall person but this not only lets the person know how tall you are but also that you are a coffee drinker.
- ‘Not to boast but I’m as tall as a beanstalk after it’s had its morning coffee.’
- ‘More coffee for me then.’
12. I’m just the right height to reach for my dreams… and occasionally knock over a lamp or two in the process
What’s that saying that some things won’t matter in heaven? I mean, does it matter how tall I am as far as I can reach my dreams?
This is an unexpected response that will make the hearer have a good laugh.
- ‘I’m just the right height to reach for my dreams…’
- ‘Is that right?’
- ‘…yeah, and occasionally knock over a lamp or two in the process.’
13. I’m tall enough to have a hearty conversation with a pilot as they fly
An airplane flies higher than a bird does, hence, I doubt if anyone is tall enough to reach a plane. What this means then is that while this is an unrealistic response, it can be said only sarcastically.
- ‘I’m tall enough to have a hearty conversation with a pilot as they fly.’
- ‘Never heard that one before.’
14. I’m tall enough to see eye-to-eye with a basketball player… if they’re kneeling down
This response starts on a good and interesting note, then it takes a downward dive unexpectedly. It is best used when the person has not seen you physically yet and you want to give them a good idea of what you look like.
This response is quite hilarious because it shows that you are a short person.
- ‘I’m tall enough to see eye-to-eye with a basketball player…’
- ‘Wow, you’re quite tall.’
- ‘…if they’re kneeling.’
15. I’m as tall as an African Iroko tree, but sadly, I can’t see the ancestors
Not everyone is familiar with African fairy tales and some of them may need to browse the internet to find out what an African Iroko tree looks like.
I will recommend this response to any African person who is asked how tall they are, although it’s free for people from other nationalities to use.
- ‘I’m as tall as an African Iroko tree,…’
- ‘Giant of Africa, innit?’
- ‘…but sadly, I can’t see my ancestors.’
16. I will need an extra-long bedsheet, but not so tall I need a custom-made door
Imagine someone needing twice an extra large bedsheet to get their whole body covered properly, but right before your imagination goes wild, you let them know that it’s not so bad that you would need a custom-made door.
- ‘I will need an extra-long bedsheet.’
- ‘You must be very tall then.’
- ‘But not so tall I need a custom-made door.’
17. My mum asks me to grab things from the top shelf at the grocery store… all the time
Well, you can’t allow your height to go to waste, you may as well be useful to those around you. I mean, why would your mum stress herself out to get things that are out of her reach when she has you?
- ‘My mum asks me to grab things from the top shelf at the grocery store…all the time.’
- ‘Wish I could do that.’
18. My grandma is proud of my height, although my pants are becoming too short
Grandparents always tend to love and admire their grandchildren more than their children. That’s twisted, I know. Nevertheless, if your grandparents are still alive, this response will make them a point of reference.
- ‘My grandma is proud of my height,’
- ‘Is that so?’
- ‘Although, my pants are becoming too short.’
19. If skyscrapers were made from spaghetti, then I’d be as tall as one
This response is a hilarious comparison of a skyscraper and a spaghetti. If the person was expecting a serious response, they are in for a ride!
- ‘If skyscrapers were made from spaghetti,…’
- ‘Weird thinking, but go on.’
- ‘…then I’m as tall as one of the skyscrapers.’
20. I’m a shy bit taller than the shortest person on earth, go figure
This may be an understatement but it lets the person know that they should not expect so much from you in terms of height. It is also very suitable if the person has not seen you physically before and is asking you how tall you are.
- ‘I’m a shy bit taller than the shortest person on earth,’
- ‘You’re growing round rather.’
- ‘Go figure.’
In Summary
You don’t have to feel weird or self-conscious whenever someone asks you how tall you are, especially if your height is 6’2 and above. You can use these responses to make light of the situation.
One thing is that people will always be amazed and curious when they see you. You’ve just got to accept it and be friendly with your response, hence the aim of this article.