Life certainly has its ups and downs. We cherish the laughter and joy shared with loved ones, yet also experience pain and hardship. People come in and out of our lives, sometimes unexpectedly.
Friends move away, lose touch, or even pass away without us knowing. While mortality is inevitable, it can be hard not knowing if someone is still alive and well.
How can we gently check in and ask if someone is still out there? Read on for lighthearted, caring suggestions to inquire if that old colleague, distant cousin, or high school lab partner is still walking among us.
15 Funny Ways to Ask if Someone Is Alive
- I know it’s been a while since we chatted about Michael. Please tell me he hasn’t gone to that big conference room in the sky yet!
- I was hoping you could reassure me that Janet is still breathing air on this planet with the rest of us earthlings.
- Last month Claire said she wouldn’t be caught dead in sweatpants but she wore them last Tuesday. Is she still on this side?
- Hey, shut in. You have been here for weeks now. Are you still on this plane?
- Is that Kelvin? Oh my gosh, are you alive or am I staring at a ghost?
- Do you still exist in this realm or have you been called to glory?
- Did you forget to kick the bucket?
- Don’t take this the wrong way but are you still on this side of the dirt?
- Are you still alive, or did you just forget to tell anyone otherwise?
- Did the undertaker cancel your appointment?
- Is your expiration date still in the future?
- Did you forget to attend your funeral?
- Pinch yourself. Did it hurt, or are you a ghost?
- Are you still paying taxes, or did you find the ultimate loophole?
- They say seeing is believing but I see ghosts too so just to be sure, are you alive?
1. I know it’s been a while since we chatted about Michael. Please tell me he hasn’t gone to that big conference room in the sky yet!
Use this to ask someone else. Perhaps you are talking to a close friend or someone you are sure who has interacted with the person recently. You can use this to do after their well-being and if the said person is still alive. It also works well if you are associated with each other by work. The conference room part is perfect. Here’s a sentence example:
- I know it’s been a while since we chatted about Michael. Please tell me he hasn’t gone to that big conference room in the sky yet! He is always working so hard on some projects.
2. I was hoping you could reassure me that Janet is still breathing air on this planet with the rest of us earthlings.
Show concern. When you make jokes like this, it can seem sinister especially if your expression doesn’t show that it is a joke. Acting overly concerned will get people smiling at the creative way to ask if someone is still alive. The point includes an action all humans must do to live. If they are not breathing then you know they are not on earth anymore. Here is a sentence example:
- I was hoping you could reassure me that Janet is still breathing air on this planet with the rest of us earthlings. If she ain’t we gotta do something so tell me. Is she?
3. Last month Claire said she wouldn’t be caught dead in sweatpants but she wore them last Tuesday. Is she still on this side?
Make a joke about their actions. For those people who make all those comments about dying if something trivial happened to them, you can use this to bring up your question on whether they are still alive.
You can do this if you haven’t seen them in a while or if they are there in person you want to just tease them. Here’s a sentence example:
- Last month Claire said she wouldn’t be cut dead in sweatpants but she wore them last Tuesday. Is she still on this side? Did she die of shame?
4. Hey, shut in. You have been here for weeks now. Are you still on this plane?
Talk about their absence. If they haven’t been around for a while, you might be concerned as to their whereabouts and well-being. In that case, you can say something like this when you see them to let them know that they have been away far too long and you need to know if they are alright. Here’s a sentence example:
- Knock knock. Hey, shut in. You have been here for weeks now. Are you still on this plane? Get out and experience the real world more. You can’t stay here forever.
5. Is that Kelvin? Oh my gosh, are you alive or am I staring at a ghost?
Use this to express shock. When you get an unexpected visitor at a party, one you haven’t seen in a long time, it is one way to react. Then again they might just look like a shadow of themselves and the shock of it can be disorienting.
This is also a very humorous expression and if you are dramatic, you can get everyone laughing. Here’s a sentence example:
- Is that Kevin? Oh my gosh, are you alive or am I staring at a ghost? It is Kevin! Wow!
6. Do you still exist in this realm or have you been called to glory?
Use particular phrases. In some particular places in the world, when someone dies, it is said that they have been called to eternal glory. Asking a friend if another person has been called to glory is a very comical way to ask if they are still alive.
You can also ask if they have received the call. If they have not, then they still exist in this realm. Here’s a sentence example:
- Do you still exist in this realm or have you been called to glory? It is one thing to pick up my call but I have to know you answered a higher call.
7. Did you forget to kick the bucket?
Tease them. This point is not what you say to just anyone. To a friend who is tired after a day of work and you are close to you can ask this to tease them.
It’s saying that if they are so tired or they don’t want to have to deal with what is going on like work or projects they can just kick the bucket and run away from it all. Ironically, it’s a way to tell them they can not give up. Here’s a sentence example:
- Did you forget to kick the bucket? You were so tired I thought you wouldn’t make it and you would just take the easy way out. Glad you are still around kicking other stuff instead.
8. Don’t take this the wrong way but are you still on this side of the dirt?
Add some wit to it. If you didn’t get this joke I will explain. When a person dies they are buried, literally put into the ground or earth. While they are alive they are on the ground which makes it two sides.
You are either on the earth or in it. You can just ask it not because you are shocked at a long disappearance but maybe because of how they look at it or something they said. Here’s a sentence example:
- Before I go into that, first, don’t take this the wrong way but are you still on this side of the dirt? Let’s clear up doubts and suspicions.
9. Are you still alive, or did you just forget to tell anyone otherwise?
Question them. When speaking to the person directly, this is a humorous way to ask if they are alive or dead because you are asking them to report to you on whichever they are on.
A dead person can’t say they are dead but it’s a nice way to quiet a person for keeping distance or not reaching out and being friendly. Here’s a sentence example:
- Why did you just stay away? It can’t be work keeping away for full months.
10. Did the undertaker cancel your appointment?
Employ dark humor. This point is based on the fact that something kills everyone. While this is a little mean and very dark, it clearly says you have beef with them over something and you wish they were dead.
When joking like this be sure it’s someone who truly understands it’s a joke so it doesn’t become an issue later on.
Meanwhile, you can use this after they have gone through a particularly difficult trial like a presentation, a terrible visit from the HR, or a relapse into an illness. Here’s a sentence example:
- Did the undertaker cancel your appointment? You seemed very keen on it. Anyway, good to have you back.
11. Is your expiration date still in the future?
Ask for clarification. Asking for their expiration date is like quizzing them if they’ll be dying anytime soon. You can use it to express concern about how they are looking.
For example, someone who looks sick and has been like that for weeks needs to start answering questions. Here’s a sentence example:
- Is your expiration date still in the future? Like far into the future because you look like you could drop dead any moment. What’s going on? It’s like you are half gone.
12. Did you forget to attend your funeral?
Question their presence. This has to be the most genius one on the list. It simply says, “Weren’t you dead? What are you doing out of the casket?” It’s like the President doesn’t show up for their inauguration. If you feign actual confusion, you will get a lot of laughter from the crowd.
It might be because the last time you saw them they went through a serious situation in front of everyone that they thought they would die from like making a mistake that cost the company a million dollars or getting made fun of by the whole school. Here’s a sentence example:
- Did you forget to attend your funeral? I was there and I know I saw you go down. I’m just kidding. I am so glad you pulled through. Don’t worry, it gets better.
13. Pinch yourself. Did it hurt, or are you a ghost?
Request an action. At first, they might not know why you are doing them to pinch themselves but when you ask if they are ghosts, it is sure to elicit laughter and sound explanation about if they are truly alive.
You also have the option of pinching yourself and then deciding for yourself. Here’s a sentence example:
- Pinch yourself. Did it hurt, or are you a ghost? Did it hurt? So where have you been humans live on earth and you haven’t been on earth.
14. Are you still paying taxes, or did you find the ultimate loophole?
Ask them about an important human function. Aside from eating, sleeping, breathing, and everything else that we were taught in science class, we know for sure that paying taxes is something you can not evade.
In this case, the only way to have escaped it is death -the ultimate loophole. Here’s a sentence example:
- Kim. Wait, are you still paying taxes, or did you find the ultimate loophole? Tell me.
15. They say seeing is believing but I see ghosts too so just to be sure, are you alive?
Ask pointedly. Perhaps someone told you that they survived something crazy or it’s been a while since you saw them and then showed up. It’s a great way to tell them that it’s not just enough to show up, they have to prove that they are alive. Here’s a sentence example:
- They say seeing is believing but I see ghosts too so just to be sure, are you alive? Don’t tell lies because you are going to prove it.
Final words
Life certainly provides beautiful moments to cherish with loved ones. We wish those dear to us many more years of health and happiness. While time passes and people come and go from our lives, we hope old friends and fond acquaintances are still thriving, wherever they are.
With a touch of humor and empathy, we can reconnect with people from our past and confirm they’re alive and kicking. Those small connections help make life’s journey meaningful.