At one point in our lives, either we have been offended or we have offended someone. The humane thing to do immediately that happens is to apologize and probably plead with the person not to get offended.
However, most times, people intentionally do us wrong and expect us not to get offended. If we react, we are termed as being out of control or unreasonable. Hence, how can you show that you are displeased without overreacting?
You can do that through your response; either by being sarcastic or cracking a joke. This will also help you feel better about the situation. Thus, in this article, we will be listing twenty (20) funny ways to reply to the statement, ‘Don’t get offended.’
20 Funny Responses to “Don’t Get Offended”
- Of course, I won’t; I don’t expect to drink poison while expecting another person to die.
- I won’t bother to cause I suspect that you’re probably offending someone else at the same time.
- You always ‘accidentally’ trigger my offend-o-meter and expect me not to be offended.
- Offending people is your talent, you should probably put it on your resume
- You’re quite lucky, my offended ‘button’ seems to be stuck on snooze
- What? Oh no! I’m too busy being fabulous!
- Oh, I left that part of me in the past way back into the ’90s.
- Probably would have gotten offended if I didn’t have comedy shows to watch.
- Nah, I’m allergic to offense…and to taking everything seriously.
- Even if I wanted to, I can’t cause I’m on a ‘Chill Pill’ prescription.
- You didn’t say that fast enough, my spirit animal is already sharpening its claws
- Offense taken! No, just joking…I’m a lot stronger than that
- Wow, I’m offended that you would think that I can’t take a joke.
- I wouldn’t recognize offense even if it bit me on my backside
- I’m lost. Was I supposed to pretend to be deeply hurt and storm off dramatically?
- The fact that I’m more likely to laugh will probably get YOU offended.
- I’m more offended by the fact that I haven’t had breakfast than by what you just said.
- If I’m to ever get offended, it has to be with something bigger and more mysterious.
- I would have to take something stronger than this glass of juice to get offended by your statement.
- You say something offensive and expect me not to get offended. I mean, that’s like telling a dog not to wag its tail.
1. Of course, I won’t; I don’t expect to drink poison while expecting another person to die.
Getting offended, especially for something that is not so serious, is like holding on to a brick for a long time. Eventually, your hands will hurt badly unless you let go.
Hence, instead of letting little things offend you, you just let them go immediately.
- ‘Of course, I won’t be offended.’
- ‘That’s great.’
- ‘I don’t expect to drink poison while expecting another person to die.’
2. I won’t bother cause I suspect that you’re probably offending someone else at the same time.
Some people intentionally offend others. They have built a reputation of getting people annoyed with their character or words so they’re infamous for it.
- ‘Oh please, don’t get offended.’
- ‘I won’t bother ’cause I suspect that you’re probably offending someone else at the same time.’
3. You always ‘accidentally’ trigger my offend-o-meter and expect me not to be offended.
Some people tend to ‘accidentally’ offend others a lot. They say or do things that they are aware will get people offended and when those people react, they try to play the victim.
- ‘You always ‘accidentally’ trigger my offend-o-meter and expect me not to be offended.’
- ‘I’m sorry about that.’
4. Offending people is your talent, you should probably put it on your resume
This is another hilarious reply to say to a person who loves to get other people offended. Some people do it unconsciously and not all the time, while there are people who have the unique talent to get on people’s nerves.
- ‘Offending people is your talent…’
- ‘I can’t help it.’
- ‘…you should probably put it on your resume.’
5. You’re quite lucky, my offense ‘button’ seems to be stuck on snooze
Right before they tell you not to get offended, you have already made up your mind not to allow anything to spoil your day. If this is you, then this might be the right response to use on days like that.
- ‘You’re quite lucky.’
- ‘I am?’
- ‘Yup, my offense button’ seems to be stuck on snooze.’
6. What? Oh no! I’m too busy being fabulous!
Well, if you believe that you are fabulous and nobody can rain on your queendom/kingdom, then this is the right response to let them know just how you feel.
- ‘What?’
- ‘I said don’t get offended.’
- ‘Oh no! I’m too busy being fabulous.’
7. Oh, I left that part of me in the past way back into the 90s.
It is normal for us to outgrow certain childish or unwanted characters we used to exhibit; one of which may be getting easily offended at anything anyone says.
When you outgrow that part of yourself, you find that there are more important things to worry about than some careless statements.
- ‘Oh, I left that part of me in the past way back in the 90s.’
- ‘Cool.’
8. Probably would have gotten offended if I didn’t have comedy shows to watch.
Well, when you have something that keeps you happy, you will find that you are less likely to get offended by someone’s offensive statement. In this case, ‘comedy shows’ are what’s keeping the speaker elated.
- ‘Probably would have gotten offended if I didn’t have comedy shows to watch.’
- ‘I’m glad.’
9. Nah, I’m allergic to offense…and to taking everything seriously.
Some people never get offended at anything no matter how hard anyone tries. You can try your best to say mean things to them, but they wouldn’t care less.
- ‘Nah, I’m allergic to offense…’
- ‘Really?’
- ‘…and to take everything seriously.’
10. Even if I wanted to, I can’t, cause I’m on a ‘Chill Pill’ prescription.
In this statement, ‘Chill Pill’ can symbolize anything you are taking or doing consistently that keeps you so occupied that you don’t have time to get offended.
It may or may not refer to drugs, but is quite soothing all the same.
- ‘Even if I wanted to, I can’t, ’cause I’m on a ‘Chill Pill’ prescription.’
- ‘I would need some of that too.’
11. You didn’t say that fast enough, my spirit animal is already sharpening its claws
This statement shows that the warning came a little too late. You are already offended and are preparing to give your comeback. However, this statement can be used sarcastically, especially when you were never offended in the first place, and are merely joking.
- ‘You didn’t say that fast enough,’
- ‘Why?’
- ‘My spirit animal is already sharpening its claws.’
12. Offense taken! No, just joking…I’m a lot stronger than that.
You could start by pretending that you took offense when the person becomes extremely worried and makes an apology, then you intercept and tell them that you were merely joking.
- ‘Offense taken!’
- ‘Oh my.’
- ‘Nah, just joking…I’m a lot stronger than that.’
13. Wow, I’m offended that you would think that I can’t take a joke.
Sometimes amid friendly banter or exchange, one might say something that they assume is offensive. If they are nice, their first instinct would be to apologize, and of course, you can use this statement to assure them that it is okay.
- ‘Wow, I’m offended that you would think that I can’t take a joke.’
- ‘Thank goodness.’
14. I wouldn’t recognize offense even if it bit me on my backside
Some people have made a personal decision not to get offended by anyone’s actions or words, maybe because they feel that nothing or nobody is worth losing their joy or good mood over.
- ‘I wouldn’t recognize the offense even if it bit me on my backside.’
- ‘Great joke.’
15. I’m lost. Was I supposed to pretend to be deeply hurt and storm off dramatically?
When most people intentionally or otherwise say or do something that will get you offended, they would expect a dramatic reaction from you. When you refuse to react, they may be surprised that you are calm and collected.
They may feel that way because if they were in your shoes, they would react dramatically to it. This response would go well with an eye roll; thus, you may like to try it out.
- ‘I’m lost.’
- ‘I said you shouldn’t get offended.’
- ‘Was I supposed to pretend to be deeply hurt and storm off dramatically?’
16. The fact that I’m more likely to laugh will probably get YOU offended.
If someone is aiming at getting you offended, probably because they are angry at you, reacting the opposite way would get them more infuriated.
Hence, this statement is a way to warn them that your reaction would be that of laughter.
Thus, they should know what to expect early enough unless they are ready to get offended.
- ‘The fact that I’m more likely to laugh will probably get YOU offended.’
- ‘That’s right.’
17. I’m more offended by the fact that I haven’t had breakfast than by what you just said.
The truth is most people are not as important as they think they are. When they assume that your bad mood is a result of what they said or did, it will do you good to remind them that there are things more important that can offend you more than their words or actions.
- ‘I’m more offended by the fact that I haven’t had breakfast than by what you just said.’
- ‘Very funny.’
18. If I’m to ever get offended, it has to be with something bigger and more mysterious.
This statement is used when you want to remind someone in a hilarious way that it would take more than a little statement or an insignificant action to get you riled up.
It implies that they should step up their game in attempting to get you offended, or else their attempt would meet a dead end. While it is a hilarious response, it can also aim to be insulting.
- ‘If I ever get offended…’
- ‘Yes?’
- ‘…it has to be with something bigger and more mysterious.’
19. I would have to take something stronger than this glass of juice to get offended by your statement.
Sometimes when people are sober, they’re on their best behavior but when they are a little tipsy, they tend to become more bold and outspoken. If you are in this WhatsApp group, then this is the right statement for you.
This statement is more effective if you already have a glass of juice in your hand, and you are just making a reference to it.
- ‘I would have to take something stronger than this glass of juice to get offended by your statement.’
- ‘Ouch.’
20. You say something offensive and expect me not to get offended. I mean, that’s like telling a dog not to wag its tail.
Most people have such an entitlement mentality that makes them assume that even if they offend you, you should not get offended.
They will try to pass it off as a joke, and tell you that they did not mean any of the things that they said. However, you will notice a pattern with this kind of person, and if you’re observant enough, you’ll realize that they are doing it intentionally.
Hence, this statement is a thin line between being sarcastic and letting the person know how you truly feel about their actions/words.
- ‘You say something offensive and expect me not to get offended.’
- ‘I apologize.’
- ‘I mean, that’s like telling a dog not to wag its tail.
To end,
Now that you know twenty hilarious ways to respond to “don’t get offended,” you don’t need to be too serious with your response anymore.
It’s okay not to feel too good because of a person’s actions or words, but you can be the bigger person. These statements would help you diffuse a situation that would have otherwise escalated or ended as unpleasant.