20 Funny Ways to Say No When Someone Asks to Borrow Your Clothes

In a world where sharing clothes has become a societal norm, the perspectives on this seemingly innocent act vary widely. While some embrace the communal wardrobe spirit, others are skeptical, questioning the hygiene implications. 

Yet, how does one gracefully decline a friend’s request to borrow their precious clothes without causing a rift? If someone were to ask you for your outfit, what would be the best way to turn them down without causing a fussy situation? 

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20 Funny Ways to Say No When Someone Asks to Borrow Your Clothes

  1. Sorry, my clothes are strictly for members only. And you ain’t a member
  2. Let me check with my wardrobe…yeah, they all say hard pass.
  3. Thanks for the laugh! Next joke, please.
  4. I don’t think my clothes would fit you right. They’re very clingy and possessive.
  5. My clothes would probably try to find their way back to my closet. They’re quite attached.
  6. Sorry, my clothes are an exclusive limited edition collection. No borrowing allowed!
  7. My clothes are such divas! They refuse to be seen by anyone but me.
  8. My clothes are happily unavailable at the moment. Check back never!
  9. I don’t loan my clothes to anyone less stylish than me. Sorry!
  10. As much as I like you, my clothes don’t feel the same way.
  11. Maybe if you bathe in tomato juice first to get your scent off. Even then, don’t count on it!
  12. I wish I could but that dress was a gift from my mom. I could never lend it out. 
  13. I don’t give out my clothes unless I am ready to let them go forever.
  14. I’m flattered you want to get in my pants, but my clothes aren’t down for that.
  15. I don’t think my spandex collection would fit you quite right. Let’s just leave it at that.
  16. I’ll lend you my clothes when I also lend strangers my toothbrush. So like never.
  17. My clothes would probably follow you home, so we should avoid that clingy situation.
  18. I’m flattered but my closet has a very strict screening process for potential borrowers. Let’s just leave it at that.
  19. We can revisit when fuzzy socks are high fashion. For now, Imma passes on loaning out my threads.
  20. I would but my wardrobe is still working through trust issues from the last time I let someone borrow them. Baby steps!

1. Sorry, my clothes are strictly for members only. And you ain’t a member!

Funny Ways to Say No When Someone Asks to Borrow Your Clothes

Decline with humor. There is no one else who will ever be a member of your body unless of course you two are surgically joined, or you go through some sort of mutation.

It’s a nice way to tell them that you don’t share your clothes with anyone and your clothes are strictly for you. Here’s a sentence example:

  • Sorry, my clothes are strictly for members only. And you ain’t a member! On a serious note, I don’t share but you can ask Sarah. 

2. Let me check with my wardrobe…yeah, they all say hard pass.

 

Blame it on the clothes. If you act like it’s not up to you but your clothes then you take off every possibility of getting accused of not giving them out. 

After all the clothes are the ones that refused to be given out, never mind that they are inanimate possessions and they probably don’t even have a reason. Here’s a sentence example:

  • My outfit from Sunday? Let me check with my wardrobe…yeah they all say hard pass. Sorry Jamie. 

3. Thanks for the laugh! Next joke, please.

Treat it as a joke. You might be one of those people who no matter who people are to you, you can never share personal items like jewelry, shoes, and clothes. 

That’s fine especially when you consider matters of hygiene. This response tells them that it is funny for them to ask you to share since you never will. Here’s a sentence example:

  • Thanks for the laugh! Next joke, please. Oh, you are serious. Apologies if that seemed harsh but no. 

4. I don’t think my clothes would fit you right. They’re very clingy and possessive.

Mix humor with a reason. Sometimes we admire people and how an outfit looks on them. While it looks gorgeous on them, it might not fit the same way it looks the same way on us for several reasons.

As the cloth owner, it is the perfect excuse for not giving out your clothes. Here’s a sentence example:

  • I don’t think my clothes would fit you right. They’re very clingy and possessive. But then really, we are not the same size. 

5. My clothes would probably try to find their way back to my closet. They’re quite attached.

Give a silly reason. One thing I have learned is that when someone gives you a silly reason for not doing something, it is a sign that they don’t want to do that thing.

Your clothes will find their way back to your closet if they return them to you are not willing to risk it, hence the reason. Here’s a sentence example:

  • My clothes would probably try to find their way back to my closet. They’re quite attached and you don’t want to have to chase about now, would you?

6. Sorry, my clothes are an exclusive limited edition collection. No borrowing allowed!

Take on a fashion pun. If you don’t understand, you are trying to say your clothes are those kinds of designs that are made in a limited number so not everyone has it, making it expensive and precious. 

This may not be true but if you have some good brands in your closet, there’s no reason to borrow it out if you don’t want to. Here’s a sentence example:

  • Sorry, my clothes are an exclusive limited edition collection. No borrowing allowed! Just kidding, but not about the borrowing part. 

7. My clothes are such divas! They refuse to be seen by anyone but me.

Once again, blame your clothes. The best part about blaming everything on your clothes is you get to give the real reason and they can’t fight you because they are your clothes.

With a response like this, the asker knows you are the diva and you are so self-absorbed that you won’t let anyone wear any of your clothes. While it’s not the best trait to have, a few things can be allowed in moderation. 

Here’s a sentence example:

  • My clothes are such divas! They refuse to be seen by anyone but me. Sorry. Try somewhere else. 

8. My clothes are happily unavailable at the moment. Check back never!

Tell them plainly that you won’t share your clothes. If you only tell them that your clothes are unavailable, they will assume they are in the laundry that you lent someone and they keep coming back to ask.

Making it plain to them that they can never get your clothes will prevent the back and forth. Here’s a sentence example:

  • My clothes are happily unavailable at the moment. Check back never! Don’t look so dismayed, Jennie can properly lend you.

9. I don’t loan my clothes to anyone less stylish than me. Sorry!

Tease them a bit. But everyone takes a joke, especially one that is of this nature. You can always change from less to more. That way they are more confused.

They won’t be able to do your clothes if you deem them too stylish. It works the same way if you deem it less stylish as well. Whatever makes them leave without your clothes and their happiness. Here’s a sentence example:

  • I don’t loan my clothes to anyone less stylish than me. Sorry! They always have an instant glow and the next you know they are more fashionable.

10. As much as I like you, my clothes don’t feel the same way.

Point out that you are not sentimental on your stand on clothes sharing. Just the way you can’t share your toothbrush with your partner or your mom, you can’t share your clothes. It doesn’t matter how much you care about or love them.

Now although your clothes don’t have feelings, you have your options and it’s always easier to blame it on them. Here’s a sentence example:

  • As much as I like you, my clothes don’t feel the same way. Imma guess it’s because you didn’t compliment me the last time you saw me in that dress. 

11. Maybe if you bathe in tomato juice first to get your scent off. Even then, don’t count on it!

Highlight the issue of scent. Everyone has their unique body scent. And just because it is unique doesn’t mean it’s bad. It’s the fact it’s unique that is the problem.

If you lend someone your clothes they can hang on to them for a long time and it could be better especially if it’s not a very pleasant one. Here’s a sentence example:

  • Maybe if you bathe in tomato juice first to get your scent off. Even then, don’t count on it! Even after you return from the laundry it may still carry the scent of where you have been. 

12. I wish I could but that dress was a gift from my mom. I could never lend it out. 

Funny Ways to Say No When Someone Asks to Borrow Your Clothes

Let them know your emotional attachment to an address. There are some dresses that you know you would never lend out unless they are no longer your size and you are ready to give them away. They are sometimes gifts that have so many memories for you.

I don’t think anyone would plead for your clothes if you give him a reason. Here’s a sentence example:

  • I wish I could but that dress was a gift from my mom. I could never lend it out. Her spirit would haunt me till I washed it a billion times. 

13. I don’t give out my clothes unless I am ready to let them go forever.

Inform them of the no-borrowing policy. You can be the type that doesn’t wear other people’s clothes or lend yours because you feel awkward when you do it. In this case, anyone you are giving out is a donation or a gift to a person who would like it. 

When you tell the asker this, they will pick up on the fact that unless you are ready to let go, you are not lending them. Here’s a sentence example:

  • I don’t give out my clothes unless I am ready to let them go forever. This particular dress… It’s not the time. Sorry, dear.

14. I’m flattered you want to get in my pants, but my clothes aren’t down for that.

Appreciate their choice of clothes. It’s a thing to be proud of that people see your clothes as something beautiful that they will look good in and be admired by others.

That should however not distract you from your opinion on the issue. Here’s a sentence example:

  • I’m flattered you want to get in my pants, but my clothes aren’t down for that. And secretly, so am I.

15. I don’t think my spandex collection would fit you quite right. Let’s just leave it at that.

Explain the sort of clothes you have. When you have a different body type than someone else, they might not understand the type of clothes you wear.

For example, they might feel that your clothes will fit you because they are spandex when in fact they won’t fit them. After all, the difference in size will still affect them. Here’s a sentence example:

  • I don’t think my spandex collection would fit you quite right. It’s a specialized type and for a specific purpose. Let’s just leave it at that. 

16. I’ll lend you my clothes when I also lend strangers my toothbrush. So like never.

Let them know you are a hard no. Some germaphobes feel that everything that has to do with their bodies and personal spaces must be 100% clear at all times.

With this mentality, they won’t give you even a hat because they believe it is as personal as a toothbrush. While others would look at you strangely, it’s your reason so they have to respect it. Here’s a sentence example:

  • I’ll lend you my clothes when I also lend strangers my toothbrush. So like never. I am very keen on personal hygiene and cleanliness.

17. My clothes would probably try following you home, so we should avoid that clingy situation.

Tell them you know they won’t return it. There are chronic beggars and borrowers who sadly never return whatever they borrow. 

They always have a story and if they do return it, it would come back with faults that would never please the owner. Being aware of this, use this response. They will understand well enough to leave you be. Here’s a sentence example:

  • My clothes would probably follow you home, so we should avoid that clingy situation. I will still need them even after you borrow them.

18. I’m flattered but my closet has a very strict screening process for potential borrowers. Let’s just leave it at that.

Explain that you won’t give just anyone. When people come to ask you for something, they know that there is a possibility that they will get it no matter how slim the change is. 

You can let them know that you are not a hard no because you can give only a select few but they are not among those selected. Here’s a sentence example:

  • I’m flattered but my closet has a very strict screening process for potential borrowers. Let’s just leave it at that. Maybe ask Sandra. She can help you.

19. Maybe we can revisit when fuzzy socks are high fashion. For now, Imma passes on loaning out my threads.

Funny Ways to Say No When Someone Asks to Borrow Your Clothes

Tell them it’s impossible. Anyone can tell that using fuzzy socks as an example shows that you both hate it and hope it doesn’t come back as high fashion.

You might as well go look elsewhere because it is clear that you are not a sharer and there are some trends that you would like to remain dead. Here’s a sentence example:

  • We can revisit when fuzzy socks are high fashion. For now, Imma passes on loaning out my threads. And that fuzzy socks trend… never again. It was not a cool trend.

20. I would but my wardrobe is still working through trust issues from the last time I let someone borrow them. Baby steps!

Playfully give your reason for saying no. Everyone has a reason for doing whatever they have set their mind to do.

You can playfully give your reason so they don’t feel you are upright and at the same time, they take you seriously for the reason you have given. Here’s a sentence example:

  • I would but my wardrobe is still working through trust issues from the last time I let someone borrow them. Honestly, someone left a few dresses in bad shape so they are still healing. Baby steps!

Final Words

People may ask to borrow clothes for various reasons – spilled coffee, an interview outfit emergency, or just wanting something new to wear. Whether you’re happy to share or prefer to keep your wardrobe private, politely declining a request can be tricky. 

Thankfully, this article outlined a few witty ways to say no that add humor to an otherwise awkward situation. 

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